So much coordination.

I constantly have a feeling of anxiety lately. It seems like we're trying to do so much with the infertility right now and it makes my head hurt. I'm on CD 14 and waiting to get directions from the fertility center as far as how they would like me to proceed.

Of course, I can't go forward til I sign the contract and give them their money. The hard part about that is that it takes a good 3-4 weeks before we can actually get the money from the bank for the home equity loan. So I had to call my credit cards and see who could give us a good offer and a $20,000 check in the next few days.

It looks like Citibank was able to come through for us and we're actually getting 0% til January of 2008.

So, once I get the check we have to sign the contract and then we're locked into the IVF Refund Program.

I'm excited...but nervous. What if it doesn't work the first few times? What if I use all of my eggs? How much heartache can I take? How much more can my relationship with Margot suffer?

This is all way too exhausting.