Pretty disappointed in Gar and Dar.

So, I must admit...I'm extremely disappointed in my parents. I haven't written a whole lot about it because it's always been pretty private and also I've just recently realized that my parents read my blog on our main site.

When I called to tell my dad that I was pregnant he said "Well, I know you wanted that" and basically the conversation ended somewhat cold and distant.

Over the holidays out of nowhere (mind you I haven't spoke with my mother or father in close to a year) my mother sends us a card, with ornaments, and 6 checks. 2 for Graem, 2 for me, and 2 for Margot. One check each for Christmas and one for our birthdays.

When I went to put the checks into the bank they actually popped Margot's back to me because the date on the check was 12/2007 - so they couldn't cash it. Of course, it was all too weird since I know my mother is not overly fond of Margot.

I called to thank my parents for the check. That's really a lot of money for them and they've always been very generous when it comes to helping us out and money. So I talk to my mother and she's cold as ice. She doesn't say anything unless I ask.

Finally, I ask a few seconds into the conversation if she had heard that I was pregnant. She said "yes, your father mentioned it." I then told her that I was telling them so early because I didn't want them hearing it from another source, etc.

She said "your father saw it on your website". At that point I had never really thought that anyone except for my cousin visited our website on a regular basis. Then she added "I don't go to your website." In a very cold and mean way.

So at that point without a "congratulations" or anything I ended the conversation.

Typically, I would have been pretty upset at this whole situation. Her sending money after 1 year of not speaking, her being a total cold hearted person on the phone...but at this point - nothing phases me with her.

The reality is that she's so cold and I can't imagine ever treating - even an enemy the way she's treated me, yet alone my own child.

The one thing that makes me incredibly sad and disappointed with both parents is knowing that my dad views my website and through this whole miscarriage ordeal hasn't once emailed or called to see how I'm doing.

God, that's shitty. I really hope I never grow that distant from my children or have that much hate and resentment for them that I can't just be vulnerable in a time of need.