CD5

Well, I'm almost finished with my period but I've been pretty crampy lately. My ovaries still feel swollen and it doesn't feel like things are back to normal.

I'm still pretty bummed that we won't be going through with the inseminations not this weekend but next --- but I guess it'll be alright.

I figure at this point I can't sweat the small stuff and if it's meant to happen it will.

I have absolutely no control of the situation. The weird thing is...I keep having dreams that I'm pregnant and that it worked.

In fact, the past few nights I've just had this weird feeling that this is going to work. Aside from Margot's snoring --- that's another reason why I've had a hard time sleeping.

I think I get carried away thinking about the "could have beens" and I yearn so badly to be pregnant and a mama again.

I still think about the baby that we lost and it's hard being around our pregnant friend because she's 20 weeks and I would have been 17. Almost 1/2 way there. I know it's just going to get harder as my due date approaches...

I've just got to hold on to hope that it's going to happen and when it does...it's going to be amazing.