11dpo

Okay, in infertility terms this is eleven days past ovulation. Which means that I think I ovulated Thursday and well, it's been eleven days since then.

I'm quite sad today because aside from peeing on a test and getting a negative - I just feel like it didn't work. That if it was going to work I would have already had a glowing positive on those damn tests.

And although, I said I wasn't going to test til Monday I went ahead and cracked this afternoon. The whole idea behind that of course was that I was having some period cramping and thought either:
A. the embryos were implanting nice and good
B. My period is knocking on the door

Unfortunate for me, since I'm on the progesterone in oil shots and the suppositories - my period won't come until I stop the meds. Then typically, it takes my body 1-2 weeks to start my period.

Pure bullshit - is all I can think. I just don't know why I can't be the 25-35% who get pregnant with IUIs. What's worse is that when someone gets the Ovarian Hyperstimulation you're suppose to have a 75% chance of getting pregnant in that cycle. So added together with the regular 25% chance of getting pregnant --- I should have had a 100% chance of getting pregnant. Shit.

I know it's hard for Margot when I start to get down so I'll try to stay as positive as possible. I mean what's a few more days?

I brought up what we were going to do for the next cycle today and she didn't want to talk about it.

So, I guess I'll call CNY tomorrow to see if they can move my beta up one day and until then keep doing the shots.

Bleah.