Well, that was short lived.

I've been posting mainly on the other website - but figured I should probably update this one too.

I miscarried. December 28th.

It was quite tramatic and I had been spotting for nearly a week and a half then all of a sudden that morning I woke up to a huge clot feeling like it was coming out. I was sleeping at the time and ran downstairs. Then it dropped in the toilet. I screamed and Margot came down.

We just cried and held each other. It was the single worst moment of my life. To know that I was losing our baby and there was nothing that either of us could do.

Fast forward to days to today. We buried the remains and basically it just looked like a big blood clot. I just couldn't bear to see it...whether it was just too much blood or just knowing that that was the baby that never happened.

Either way...I've got to figure out how to move on. I went for an emergency session yesterday with my shrink and that was helpful. I think I'll continue going once a week or so until I figure some of this stuff out.

Just if I could fast forward everything to like 2 months from now -- it'd probably help!