Monday, December 25, 2006

I feel guilty...

This was my baby blog and I've really been bad about posting! I've been posting mainly on the other blog because I've somewhat run out of time and it's pretty tedious to post twice.

But I will make more of an effort to post on this blog and post different information on what I'm feeling, etc.

So, the news - I'm pregnant!!!

I was having some cramping at 4 weeks 5 days last week and we got an ultrasound. It showed 2 sacs!

Then I had some light discharge almost like a mucusy pink and brown so we got to go for an ultrasound Friday. We saw one perfect sac.

There was quite a sense of relief - I must admit! Having 3 kids under 3 scared the living crap out of me! Not to mention the dangers of carrying two babies.

It makes me quite sad that my parents aren't involved and it seems like they could honestly give two craps. I called my dad to tell him and he said "well, I know you wanted this." and then the conversation ended.

Then last week my mother sent us a Christmas card, ornaments, and checks and I called to thank her. She was cold as ice.

Being a parent, I can't imagine how she can be so cold to her child. When I asked her if she had heard she said "yes, your father told me." Then preceded to say how he saw it on our website - but she didn't go to our website.

After such a cold conversation and I got the feeling she just didn't give a shit -- we ended the conversation. It upset me but not to the point that it used to upset me. I know she's just a very mean and hateful person and this has always been the case.

Every time I find happiness she tries to find way to ruin it. This time, I've really learned to find love and acceptance from different people.

So, unfortunately, instead of my parents being happy, active, and a loving role in Graem and the new babies life....I'd rather surround ourselves with Margot's brother, her Aunt and Uncle, and our close friends.

Life is too short.

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